You Have to Feed the Fish

You Have to Feed the Fish

My heart is landing somewhere

I am listening to the walls

So I float through a door

in my search

what are the whispers saying?

I am adrift on this raft, out at sea

so alone, so isolated, without comfort,

Will I find the port in the storm

match the missing mitten on a cold day

remember the galoshes or the muddy puddles

I have an intense hunger

it says,

You have to feed the fish, you have to water the plants.

The alarm goes off and one can press reset

sleep a little longer,

but in the end you get up to face the day, when

your love has flown its migratory path half way around the world it needs to rest,

it needs a soft landing.

It wants to exhale,

to build a home,

every twig of experience gathered with care

Finding the right tree,

singing a duet to greet the morning sky

nurturing enough to perch perfectly and see past the trees

I need to go into the place

where I dismantle the need

find that place

Find the power

You're controlling it and I exclaim:

Are you kidding me?

I am a tropical fish

delicate but sturdy

I need constant flow, a soft current

I need warm waters and food and care

Fed by your gentle fingers, gentle, strong, consistent

How could I loose something I never really had

as I reach out,

I don't want it to slip though those fingers

meant for touching, caressing

I hold onto the idea,

but watch the space begin to grow, neglect

stretching the nuances, a distraction

like the drilling bit lost in the concrete

fantasy, of the You and the I finding each other

I'm lucky to feel this love, I'm lucky

to feel anything

really. I want you to explore the

terrain of my heart and plant your flag,

and stake a claim, pierce

me, possess me, then tether me and

I will always find my

way back home.